Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize