Kareoke will never be a sober sport
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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