he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize