Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
