Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
