and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize