We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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