You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
