I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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