You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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