i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
