i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
