dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
