I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
