And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
