This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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