Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
