im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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