how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
