i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
This is classic penis vs brain.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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