I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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