don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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