I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
