If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I will be naked everywhere
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize