Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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