Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
