just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
