Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
