someone threw a dead crab at me
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize