Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
