i already hear my dad disowning me
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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