I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
