well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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