im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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