when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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