then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
