you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
i've created a new STD.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
