We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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