508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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