i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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