If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
