You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
