ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
