I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
