I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
