he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Randomize
