My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
