My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
