do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
