Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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