Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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