did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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