Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize