ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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