I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize