He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
