yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
