I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
