dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
