don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I need to calm my uterus...
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