I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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