i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
