The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I got her a Nickelback box set.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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